SAAB: Who is T. C. McQueen?

We get a glimpse of McQueen's personal space, his quarters an eclectic mix of war and peace, humor and Americana, Japanese art and books. The Bonsai and the calligraphy tell us he is patient and disciplined, willing to wait and to work for results.

Why does McQueen display the Purple Heart on his wall? We know he has many other decorations, even other Purple Hearts. What is so special about this one? Did he earn it for the injuries he suffered at the hands of the Silicates when they were "doin' stuff" to him? Could they have left him unable to father children? Is this what makes it significant for him? Or could it have been received for his final flight with the Angry Angels, for the wounds which we now know are the ones that grounded him permanently?

McQueen would be just contrary enough to place a reminder of either of these events where he must look at it daily. It might evoke memories of what he's lost, or it could serve as a reminder that he's still alive, still a soldier, still useful.

We now know that McQueen was once married, but is no longer because his wife was unable to stand up to the prejudice and racism directed at him by others. He has continued to keep her picture on his desk, and when questioned about it by Winslow, admits that his life with her is on his mind "a lot". It's telling, however, that the woman herself is only on his mind "a bit", and we wonder if it was the idea of having a family, someone to belong to that he misses the most. The legal tie of marriage is as close as McQueen has ever come to a real family relationship.

The wedding picture is no longer in evidence when next we see McQueen's quarters as he prepares to do battle with the alien Red Baron. Could this be symbolic of a milestone of sorts in McQueen's development? Have recent events brought him to a turning point? Is he now ready to move on with his life and leave behind the painful reminders of his past?

We've watched McQueen fight a battle with himself over his feelings for the kids in his squadron. Over time he has admitted that he loves them, he has tried to parent them in many ways and become close to them as he may never have been to anyone else. Now, suddenly, he realizes that they all have families, homes and friends to return to while he will remain out "here" waiting for the next war.

No wonder he reacts with anger - it is his natural defense for things that hurt him. He may now understand what a hole they will leave in his life, in his heart, when the war is over and they move on with their lives. It is interesting that Hawkes and Vansen are not part of McQueen's tirade. Of course, Hawkes is an In-Vitro like McQueen, and Vansen appears to be more of a "lifer," seeming less attached to her life back on Earth.

Might an In-Vitro, raised with no real knowledge on an emotional level of the boundaries that you need, especially in a command situation, inadvertently draw too close to someone without being aware of the ramifications? With one hand he draws them near, and with the other he pushes them away.

The A.I.'s have taken from him; the Chigs have taken from him. A lesser man might have just given up, but McQueen's indomitable spirit allows him to adjust, to alter course and find other ways to be useful. He's not afraid to challenge his superiors, to push and push harder when there is something he believes in. Yet McQueen never uses his formidable skills for personal gain; it's always to increase his knowledge, aid the war effort or save the lives of his people. It's as though he considers himself a tool, and this is his purpose, why he's here, what he's good for.

McQueen is a remarkably unselfish man, almost as if there is no true "self", only the greater good. Was this part of his initial programming as an In-Vitro? Yet it almost appears that his obsession with the alien fighter blinded him to the fact that he could have endangered the lives of the 58th Squadron if he'd flown the mission with them. In the larger sense, however, maybe the mission was the "greater good", overshadowing the needs of the individuals.

In "Hostile Visit" we saw McQueen drive his squad relentlessly, so obsessed was he with learning the secrets of the captured Chig vessel. Here, though his fixation compels him to push himself, to the point that he forgets or overlooks the others, and even his own disabling condition.

We know McQueen is capable of being completely ruthless when he feels it's justified. His treatment of the A.I. prisoner, Elroy-L, could be considered shocking until we understand that McQueen does not think of the Silicate as human, or even actually alive in any real sense of the word. He knows that others have granted the A.I.'s rights, but he refuses to recognize them. He's clever enough, however, to make sure he's alone when he steps over the line. It's interesting to note that although those regulations officially exist, McQueen apparently received no reprimands or disciplinary action with regard to the incident.

Up until now McQueen's life has largely been about "What am I" - an indentured slave, a soldier created to fight in the A.I. Wars, an attack jet pilot commissioned to defend his world. Now perhaps, because of his personal relationships and his developing emotions, he is becoming more self-aware; now the question is changing . . . evolving into "Who am I?"

If McQueen has been asking himself this question, then the alien pilot brings the issue to a head for him. He begins to question his whole existence, to examine his life and those in it. If he becomes aware enough to realize that he may have been created to serve, then perhaps he finally understands he has a right to be angry about it. Maybe he has discovered he's a person, and that he is entitled to a life of his own, on his own terms.

Who is Chiggy Von Richtofen (he)? Could he be asking who the alien pilot really was? Might he have been someone not unlike McQueen himself?

Who was Kelly Winslow (she)? McQueen wonders about her, and although she may have made a clumsy pass at him, she cared enough to make amends. Given her seemingly self-centered nature and tendency to whine, he may question what prompted her concern. As a man, he had to have been just a little flattered by her attention, although it could never have gone anywhere. He found himself sharing intimate details of his private life with this woman, and it's probably reasonable to assume this is unusual for McQueen.

Winslow was a beautiful young woman and McQueen is a man who has, by choice, isolated himself from others. Given the look they shared as she left his quarters, might McQueen have been human enough to wonder just a bit about where her interest might have led?

McQueen is a hero in the best sense of the word - strong, brave and determined. He's a man of honor and principle, a man who wants to matter, to count for something. He is a man without family, without a home and with no one and no place to call his own. He's been a man with an identity crisis, asking himself over and over, who he is, and why he is, and now at least he has a partial answer - he's the man who destroyed Chiggy Von Richtofen.

In the end, it wasn't brilliant military strategy, or a technologically advanced super weapon that saved humanity from a terrible alien threat. Rather, it was one lone warrior, armed only with his courage and steadfast belief that at this particular time, and in this particular place, he had to face his "defining moment."